Time was when I would visit publishers who always seemed to be located up stairs lined with boxes. The offices smelled of old books and nicotine, grey rolls of cigarette ash lay on piles of manuscripts; jacket designs on pasteboard leaned against stuffed wooden bookshelves. The editors were intense young men with beards who looked short of a dinner or two; and women of indeterminate age and uncombed hair who wore knitted woollies and knew Latin.
They would be located somewhere like Hampstead or Primrose Hill, and a publisher might take me off to a public house with dark wood beams, where we would discuss books over crusty pies and yeasty ales. They were publishers who used to pay me to give opinions on manuscripts, used to invite me to launch parties that they paid for.
One of those publishers was merged with another publisher, was bought up by another and engulfed by a conglomerate. When I visited my new publisher it was a high security affair, starting at the marble entrance hall of a tower block with a Nigerian guard in uniform and an Eastern European woman with a severe haircut in a business suit. She observed with no comment my fumbling attempts to negotiate the labyrinth of glass leading to her desk, but indicated for me to pose to have my picture taken which she sealed into a little name badge with a smart click. ‘Very helpful if I have an identity crisis while I‘m here,’ I said. She looked glacial, I suppose she had been told not to indulge the authors, who might be dangerous. There was a basket of brightly coloured sweets arranged in layers so as to resemble a chrysanthemum, in such an agreeable pattern I didn’t like to disturb it by taking one.
I went up the glass-sided lift and watched London falling away beneath my feet. A fragrant young woman came to collect me, one of those girls from a good family in the home counties who inhabit the industry.
‘Are you one of the editors?’ I asked, as we walked through the deserted office of empty computer screens and the occasional coffee-making machine.
Oh we don’t edit,’ she said the word as if I had suggested she compose hot metal type with her bare hands, ‘the books come in from agents ready-edited, otherwise we won’t look at them. I’m work experience, been here for six weeks.’
‘And are you getting experience?’ I asked.
‘Today I am,’ she said cheerily, ‘more than the others are. There are ten of us in a cupboard down the hall, this is my day out. I get to be on greeting duty.’
‘I wonder if it was worth three years at an excellent university for this?’ I said, chancing my arm at the quality of the girl’s education.
‘We worked out we have half a million pounds worth of student debt between us,’ she said. ‘The first week they had me arranging the complimentary sweets in symmetrical patterns. Then I was moved on to biscuits. They like a tight biscuit arrangement when the investors come in.’
She showed me into an office and returned to her debtors’ prison.
It was a place with a panoramic view of the city, through a huge window, but no one was apparently in it.
There were books, not on shelves as if to be used, but on display stands around the walls. I heard a rustling and looked round for its source. It was under the desk, between the chrome legs, where I leaned down to see the publisher.
‘Good afternoon,’ I said, not wishing to suggest that I, a guest, found anything untoward in this behaviour. I wondered if etiquette decreed I should join him.
‘Goodofyoutocomein,’ he said, without conviction. He was no older than me but I like to think showed more signs of wear.
I squatted down till I was at his level, ‘Just doing a few pilates stretches,’ he said, ‘good for the stress you know.’
‘What,’ I enquired politely, ‘is making you anxious?’
‘Damson,’ he mumbled.
‘Damsons? You are worried about damsons? The little purple things? Well, I’ve heard of some strange phobias…’ What disastrous childhood encounter with soft fruit could have brought about this abomination?
‘No. A-ma-zon,’ he enunciated more clearly. ‘They take all our books and sell them too cheaply.’
‘You’re frightened of Amazon?’ Finally I understood, ‘But it’s only a website,’ I said. He flinched as if I had held up the very spider that span that fearful website.
‘Look you have websites too, you can sell direct to the public. Every other publisher does too, you don’t need to let Amazon do all the running. If Amazon can sell lots of books, that just means there’s a big market out there.’
I sat down, he clicked his neck, straightened up and settled in a chrome-framed swivel chair. He pulled at his cuffs, beginning to look more the part of the international publisher.
‘And there’s Tesco’s,’ he said gloomily, ‘Well, all of them really, but mainly Tesco’s,’ the blue and red supermarket logo could almost be seen in his eyes.
I gave a questioning look. ‘They sell our books,’ he said, ‘so many of them.’
‘So it’s bad that new outlets sell books?’ I asked, ‘I write books, you make books, they sell books - where’s the problem?’
‘Nooo,‘ he moaned, ‘When we want to publish a book, we go to Tesco’s and ask if they will stock it and if they say no…‘ he looked as if he were going to wail. ‘Unless they take a book we can’t publish it.’
This was a rum do, calling for some dexterity. You can’t let the buyers for supermarkets run your industry. ‘Surely there’s another way around this,’ I said, ‘I remember when supermarkets had only English fare, there were no artichokes or butternut squash or olive oil. Now you get five kinds of olive oil.’ He looked at me as if I were losing mental acuity. ‘Look, what I mean is, I know supermarkets only carry big sellers now, but they are new to the market. Public tastes change and they will demand a wider range of stock. Perhaps work on widening interests…’ He seemed unconvinced.
‘And then there’s another thing,’ he said petulantly, ‘Kindle, I don’t know what to make of it.’
‘It supplements, it doesn’t supplant,’ I said, ‘look at the movie industry, for years they resisted putting films out for home viewing, thinking it would destroy the cinemas. In fact they created another market - people still saw the film, then the bought it on DVD, they bought it as a present, bought it for the director’s cut and the making of featurettes….think about the new possibilities for books….’
He still looked glum, this wasn’t one of my more successful afternoons.
‘What do you like to publish?‘ I asked, thinking it would brighten him up, and perhaps even supply me with a commission.
The sparkle came back to his eyes, ‘Trilogies are very successful,’ he said, clapping his hands, ‘look at The Hunger Games, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, a trilogy would be very nice…’
‘I mainly write non-fiction,’ I said, ‘anything in that line you like?’
The publisher picked up somewhat and assumed a gaze of musing on past delights, ‘The Second World War has been very big for us.’ he said. ‘And the royals, of course, always a favourite…’
‘So what you really want is Secrets of the Tudor Nazis?’ I ventured, adapting a gag of Alan Coren’s.
I think the publisher failed to see the joke, ‘Sounds promising…’ he mumbled.
He may have suspected I was not a wholesale admirer and took the initiative, ‘We don’t publish a lot of, you know, books now. But we really go to town on the ones we do publish. Look we’ve just bought --------’s autobiography, huge publicity budget, TV, newspaper serial - we’re looking for six figures - the works.’
He held up a book whose cover had a picture of a young woman I vaguely recognised from the gossip columns of the less reputable newspapers, perhaps she had won a talent show.
‘What does she have to say?’ I asked, trying to keep the mood upbeat.
‘Oh, how she sniffed glue as a kid. How she was shocked to discover the man she thought was her father was in fact...er…I think it was her father, actually. I must be thinking about another book…’
I looked more closely, ‘How old is she?’
‘She’s twenty-three.’
‘Perhaps a little young to be writing her autobiography?’
‘Well, you have to be youthful and go-ahead in today’s market. We are up-to-date. We twitter, you know, one of the work experience girls twitters for us. Very nice, double first from Somerville.’
‘Well you seem very well set up here then,’ I said.
‘But the worry, you know,’ he indicated the floor as if he were about to dive down there again.
‘Any good things? I asked, by way of encouragement.
‘I went to an awards dinner last night,’ he licked his lips, ‘I liked that.’
‘Oh good, did you win?’
‘No,’ he said with disgust, ‘the prize went to some provincial outfit, publishing out of a back room in someone‘s house. I just don’t know what the business is coming to.’
The Author
summer 2012